The holidays can be hard sometimes, particularly for those lonely souls who spend the holidays feeling isolated.
Luckily, these days, the internet can offer a solution to feelings of loneliness. It connects people and builds relationships for those who struggle with the spontaneity of face-to-face interaction.
Adult entertainer, Harriet Sugarcookie is someone who understands this better than most.
After growing up in London as a shy teen, the British-Asian performer found a community online through her camming career, which began on Reddit and has since flourished into a lucrative business.
Whereas most bloggers will spend Christmas Day staring through the screens of their iPhones trying to snap the perfect turkey shot, Harriet has vowed to reach out to her followers, promising to connect with anyone who feels particularly lonely this Christmas on a real and tangible level.
In a recent post on her website, Don’t Be Alone This Christmas, the amateur porn star penned a letter to her fans, saying:
I understand and have experienced loneliness myself.
It’s for that reason that the past two years I’ve opened up a separate email account on Christmas Day so that anyone who is alone has someone they can wish a Merry Christmas to… my email door will be open as always.
Harriet began this festive tradition last year, opening a special email channel from which to send her messages of goodwill, exclusively to her fans who wished to speak to someone on quieter Christmas Days.
I like to think it looks a little something like Santa’s letterbox.
Speaking exclusively to UNILAD, Harriet told us why this tradition is special to her:
I’ve always been very aware of the loneliness people feel in the holidays… My family are all spread out; my mum and dad separated about six years ago.
It’s hard in that instance as a child to pick who you spend the holidays with. Most of the time my sister and I spent Christmas with my mum and then visited our dad the next day.
I know that after the separation my dad was very lonely, spending Christmas with friends occasionally, but mostly it was just another day for him. I was always upset about that.
Harriet also shared a message of thanks, reaching out to the professionals who are needed to work every Christmas, for whom the holidays can be exhausting.
She told UNILAD:
That first year I was working Christmas Eve as well as Boxing Day, so I decided not to go visit my family. My housemates had all gone home for the holidays, and spending the day itself alone felt horrible.
I’ve never worked those days again, just because that experience was so horrible. But most people who work the holidays don’t get the choice – such as my foster dad who is a nurse.
I’ve always considered myself very lucky that I was able to chose to take the holiday off, and I admire everyone who continues to work over the holidays, because we need them to.
Harriet is known in the adult industry for her ‘geek’ aesthetic. She learnt to deal with social anxiety through gaming communities, before her fans gave her the confidence to proceed into an adult webcam business. She tells me she’s a Zelda pro.
One of her missions is to raise awareness for social anxiety and offer a helping hand to her followers who are tackling the same issues she has been able to overcome.
Harriet explained how many people had contacted her about their demons, adding:
I realised straight away that a few of my fans were going to spend Christmas alone, either because of work or personal reasons.
I wanted to tell them that they didn’t have to be alone, and I told them I would email them so at least one person would be wishing them a Merry Christmas.
It just felt natural to offer that much, after all, it’s just an email right?
In the long, quiet hours on Christmas day, when her elderly relatives are napping and her family are watching the Queen’s Speech, Harriet will be on her laptop reading the hundreds of messages her fans send the exclusive account.
As for the emails, Harriet is offering an ear should you ask for it, advice should you need it, or just a simple Christmas wish. In the past, she has received messages describing personal demons in-depth.
She said:
I think for those people it really helped to simply get a lot of the words out. I replied to those the best I could, offering advice if they asked, or just sending my virtual support.
It was those emails that made me think, ‘I’m glad I did this’. A lot of people replied saying how it made their day. It felt like I really helped.
Porn stars have a huge following within their communities, and with the camming industry breaking down the barriers erected by the silver screen, they are closer to their fans than ever before.
Harriet has embraced the connections available to her. She seeks no reward for these emails, adding: “Considering how easy it was on my end, I’ve never looked back and it’s become a sort of tradition for me at Christmas.”
Harriet received hundreds of emails in 2015, and this year she has no idea how many to expect, but she is ‘looking forward to receiving everyone’s messages’ this year.
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.