One of the less fun aspects of our rampant nostalgia for the Eighties has been the recent return to Cold War-style fears of nuclear war.
Ahh well, I suppose it’s a price worth paying to have decent horror movies again…
Anyway, as we supposedly teeter on the edge of a thermonuclear apocalypse caused by World War 3, the good people over at the i100 have used the Global Peace Index 2017, to work out a list of the safest places to hide from the coming storm:
Ireland:
Where better to grab a pint and wait for World War 3 to blow over than Ireland?
The beer’s great, the people are friendly and they’ve got the best crisps in the world – (Tayto if you were wondering).
Far more importantly though, for your survival, they’ve practiced neutrality since the First World War – sitting out the second – meaning they’ll probably pass on fighting this time as well.
Switzerland:
Great chocolate, (and a lack of beaches aside), Switzerland is the perfect place to sit out the apocalypse.
They’re the oldest neutral country in the world, since 1815, and they’ve not fought a foreign war since signing the Treaty of Paris.
Even better, they’re surrounded by mountains which act as a natural barrier against invading forces and thirty percent of Swiss citizens own guns, so they know how to look after themselves should anyone get over the mountains.
Slovenia:
Not an obvious choice but Slovenia’s investing heavily in renewable energy sources, managing to produce 22 per cent of its energy needs from green sources.
They also managed to keep their heads down during WW1 and WW2, so fingers crossed they can do it again…
Unfortunately, Russian planes have apparently been flying over the country a lot recently, so maybe try somewhere else first?
Fiji:
Beautiful and isolated Fiji is another perfect place to wait out World War 3.
Denmark:
Okay, this needs some qualification – Denmark itself isn’t the best place to hide from jackbooted troops marching across Europe but it’s got a distinct advantage over other countries on this list.
It controls Greenland – a vast island which is politically unaligned and fairly remote.
Austria:
Austria’s another weird one, what with it being slap bang in the middle of Europe and having a hand in WW1 and WW2, but since then, it’s cleaned up its act.
It’s now ranked 4th out of 163 countries in the Global Peace Index 2017 – so pretty peaceful then.
Portugal:
Portugal has been described as an ‘Ocean of Stability’ who’ve managed to avoid most wars since WW2, plus the sardines are delicious.
New Zealand:
Another isolated nation which is dedicated to providing its own power through renewable sources.
Unfortunately, they’re not exactly pacifists fighting in two world wars, Vietnam, the Second Boer War, the Korean War, the Gulf War and the Afghanistan War.
Canada:
Canada’s the greatest country on the planet so of course, it’s a great place to avoid the war.
It’s also the eighth most peaceful and scored a 1.1 out of five for domestic and international conflict, meaning it’s one of the least involved countries when it comes to war.
Iceland:
Iceland is number one on the Global Peace Index, making it the most peaceful country in the world.
It’s also in the middle of nowhere, presumably leaving it well away from the majority of the fighting.
Unless of course fishing is at stake, then you can guarantee they’ll be involved.
More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism.
Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV.
He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.