If you have children and they misbehave, it’s probably a good shout to get this guy in – he’s fucking terrifying.
Those with a fear of clowns might want to look away now. Halloween might be long gone now, but in incredibly creepy news parents are paying a few hundred dollars a pop for a professional clown to scare their children shitless to stop them doing so. I bet that’s something that hasn’t been included in any parenting manuals – ever.
The whole look he’s going for is pretty nightmarish, with his real face hidden under a pale, wrinkled mask with black holes for eyes and receding white hair. Sporting a polka-dot onesie and black rubber gloves, he also carries a fistful of balloons in his hand to complete the fucked up clownish look.
Wrinkles told the Washington Post about an experience he had disciplining a 12-year-old, saying:
He was scared of clowns and I showed up across the street from him at the bus stop and he just started crying in front of his friends and ran home. His mother called back a few days later and said ‘Thank you!’ Now when he acts bad, she just has to ask him: ‘Do you want Wrinkles to come back?’
Apparently, he’s also attracted a lot of romantic attention too…
I’ve got women calling me all the time. Young ones, too, like weird goths with chains and stuff. I’ve had enough psycho women in my life already. That’s why I’m divorced.
Hmm, that’s pretty fucking weird. The Rhode Island transplant and military veteran did retire a few years back, but instead of settling down he’s decided to make a bit of money and have a bit of fun – fair play to him. If giving children nightmares is his thing he’s absolutely smashed it! He added:
It’s fun. You get to be someone else. You get some people who are petrified and some people who want you to come home with them.
Sadly, if you want him anytime soon he is booked up until January.
Oh, what a shame, you’ll have to find another clown to haunt your dreams instead…
