It’s a riddle crap enough to be included in a cracker this year but the answer is deliciously delightful: What’s better than pigs in blankets? Three. Triple pigs in blankets.
Won’t you just cast your eyes on this image of festive excess, pop a belt button and take in this porcine delight.
Hold on, I’ve dribbled on my keyboard. Give us a sec to wipe up.
Now before you drop whatever it is you’re doing and head for your local store, these triple porkers don’t go on sale until December 19, which gives you approximately six days practice eating these little fellas before you shove your nearest and dearest out the way so you can clean up the ones you’ve brought to Christmas dinner.
If you prefer a bit of length to your pig in blanket, well Aldi’s got you covered for that. They’re doing FOOT-LONG pigs in blankets this Crimbo and even better, they’re only £3.
Just in case you can’t imagine this – or your brain only works in metric – just think of your favourite foot-long Subway and then imagine instead of a filling it’s sausage and instead of a baguette it’s bacon.
These peeps on Twitter thought it was a banging idea too:
Best thing i’ve heard today that Aldi are launching footlong pigs in blankets for Christmas what a delight
While another said:
Aldi selling foot long pigs in blankets for Christmas is probably the greatest Christmas news ever. Like EVER!
This is the things dreams are made of!
And yet another said:
This picture though. Foot-long pigs in blankets!! And then a three-pronged sausage situation wrapped in bacon! Oh my word, Aldi.
Although one guy seems to be getting a bit worried about the whole thing:
ALDI releasing footlong pigs in blankets for Christmas.
Utterly inconsiderate of the lads who have been lying to their mrs this whole time about what a footlong sausage actually looks like.
Hmm, I’m not sure what to advise you on there mate. Oh, except the fact that she’ll definitely already know you’re lying.
But don’t get excited too early folks, because this magnum-sized Christmas treat won’t actually be in store until December 6, which is when the rest of Aldi’s Christmas range launches.
The range itself will also include Methuselah Prosecco (check), an Exquisite Chocolate Carousel (check), and Specially Selected Caviar (erm…).
Oh well, three out of four isn’t bad!
Oh, and how could I forget their Wine Calendar, with Aldi encouraging you to:
Pair them with your meals, include them in your recipes, or just enjoy them with friends and family over the festive season.
Some of you might say it’s too early to be getting into the Christmas spirit – after all, the John Lewis ad hasn’t even dropped yet.
It’s going to creep up on us in no time, so put it in your diary or set a reminder or you’ll be disappointed when you get there and they’re all sold out!
Don’t be disappointed by a lack of sausage this Christmas.
If you have a story you want to tell, send it to stories@unilad.co.uk
Tim Horner is a sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated with a BA Journalism from University College Falmouth before most his colleagues were born. A previous editor of adult mags, he now enjoys bringing the tone down in the viral news sector.