TwitterWe all have an embarrassing story – but it takes a brave kind of person to share it on the internet.
That is why we’re thanking Twitter user @_blotty, because she just shared the ultimate embarrassing story, and it involves poo.
The story, told in 18 tweets, has been liked and shared thousands of times. And while there’s no confirmation that it’s actually true, it’s definitely a gripping story.
It starts off pretty simple:
I have a story to tell. It is about my poop
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
So, yesterday I went on a date with a man who asked me out in the grocery store the other day. All was going well. I went back to his place
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
I am a confident, calm and self assured woman…so I felt comfortable popping in his bathroom. This was a mistake. His toilet did not flush
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Properly. So, of course, like any calm, confident, self assured woman. I panicked. And flushed it a million times, making everything worse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
And then it got a little weird…
By this point, I was really frantic because I had been in there for too long. There was only one single piece of poop. So in that moment
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Something came over me. And I knew exactly what I had to do. I got toilet paper and removed the one poop from the toilet. Once that was done
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
I realized I didn’t have a plan. What do I do with it now? I can’t fucking leave it there. By this point I was REALLY freaking out because
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
And then it got even more weird.
I’d DEFINITELY been in there too long. So, again, making another horrible decision. I did the only thing I could think to do. I wrapped it
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
In multiple layers of toilet paper, and put it in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Alright, so now what? We are sitting there on his couch and kissing and all I can think of is the piece of poop in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Him: you’re so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me
Me: that’s really sweet
Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
At this point you start to feel bad for her, really.
At this point, I text my sister for advice pic.twitter.com/lMeX55iiH4
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
So, after a few hours he used the washroom and I heard it flush. I figured he fixed it. Maybe not, but I have to take the chance. I hAve to
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Try to flush the poop. So I brought my purse up to the washroom. Unwrapped the poop, prayed to every god I know, put it in and flushed
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Then, everything works out.
By the grace of God, it worked. The poo flushed. I was free. I was in the clear. Everything was going to be okay. I survived.I am a survivor
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
So that’s my story. A man, sat there telling me I’m the most amazing woman he’s ever met, not knowing, 10 feet away in my purse, was my poop
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
That I’d fished out of his toilet…
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
And finally, she finished off with a bit of advice.
This is v embarrassing for me. But seriously: dont drink coffee before a date, its better to be sleepy than to have to hide poop in ur purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
So there you have it. The craziest story many of us have probably read.
You have to admit though, it takes real guts to tell a story like that, and she’s getting tons of support for it.
/@_blotty you are a hero among us
— Dalton Rapattoni (@DaltonRapattoni) March 22, 2016
@_blotty I have so much respect for u
— postnatal (@ghostnatal) March 22, 2016
Well, we certainly hope this narrative is true, because it’s one hell of an entertaining story.
