Some people try and ‘let ’em down easy’, but this little girl has got a lesson for beat-around-the-bushers the world over.
Zoe, 10, wrote a ball-busting list of “rules and regulations” to her classmate Noah after he expressed a desire to make her his girlfriend.
Now I’m sure we all have fond memory of primary school ‘relationships’, but Zoe makes it clear that she is too young for his “playing and foolishness on the bus”.
Every part of this list is gold, down to the absolute sass of rule number three:
Do not speak to me unless it is a greeting, which will be never.
The list was posted by a lady who was sent it by her friend who is Zoe’s grade 5 teacher, the Metro reports.
After laying down some serious laws (which basically elude to Noah staying far far away), she then hits a home run instructing him to “Re-read 500 times”.
Here it is, in all its brazen glory:
And obviously Twitter loved it:
@eTheHustla Zoe is my hero! she's got consent and boundaries down, communicates very clearly. No excuses, Noah
— Lindsay (@SunflowerRefele) September 16, 2016
@WhosDenverJones @whyofcorso you have to start laying ground rules early! #donottouchmyshoulder
— Bethany Young Hardy (@bethanyhardy) September 16, 2016
Ladies print this and laminate it for all the men in your life and make some extra copies for all the men who aren't https://t.co/EUvUQTfBM1
— Caro (@socarolinesays) September 16, 2016
The full letter reads:
- Do not touch my shoulder.
- Do not get behind me with all that playing + foolishness. (Don’t get behind me at all.)
- Do not speak to me unless it is a greeting, which will be never.
- Stop playing with me on the bus.
- I have a short temper with people and you ruin my day because you play 2 much.
- Reread 500 times
- You like me (as a gf) but I don’t like you (as a bf) I’m 2 young!
If you break any of these rules I’m calling my dad, my mom’s friend, my fake mom, and a janator (don’t mind spelling) I know!!!!!!
If you ruin my day I’m going to have to go to counselling!!!!
Stop playing with me!!!!!!
Noah should’ve known better than to annoy Zoe as he revealed that he was interested in her because she was the smartest girl in the class.
Don’t fuck with Zoe, and especially don’t touch her shoulder.