Meet Marese, he did a very silly thing at college. Several silly things in fact. The first was getting his phone fixed in a ‘cheap asf’ shop – let this be a harsh lesson in what we do with the tools in our hands.
When you think about it, after sending d*ck pics to your class group chat, posting a story about how you sent d*ck pics to your class group chat on Twitter isn’t really going to be a big deal. Own your disaster. Hold on to the PR value of your face-palming activities.
Marese took to Twitter on Wednesday (August 22) to explain how it all came about. His phone had broken and being short of cash, he took it to a local business to get it fixed because he’s a self claimed ‘broke ass colleague student’.
Ass stuff.. but I wasn’t tripping. The 3rd party I used was cheap asf so I was just gonna live with it. Now later that night… Twitter after dark started popping and I, like other men started to get horny dab. So I whipped out my camera and started snapping hella angles pic.twitter.com/EtjYYok1qk
— Marese? (@Marese_CP) August 22, 2018
The phone wasn’t calibrated properly and the screen was playing up, pressing randomly.
Despite knowing the phone wasn’t working properly Marese elected to take some x-rated pics of his genitals.
‘After the pics… I got myself off’, he put the phone down and had a solo Netflix and chill. In the morning his phone was blowing up because of a project due at the start of class.
Not a single soul new what tf to do. I was too busy myself trying to finish my shit I couldn’t pay attention to the group me at that particular time. I eventually finished and ran to class from the library to turn it. Omw to class I was trying to read the chat to catch up and run pic.twitter.com/ryyZRTgls7
— Marese? (@Marese_CP) August 22, 2018
He ran to class and tried to catch up on the group chat on the way. Getting to class he found his phone was still unlocked.
He sat down at his desk to find:
My heart LITERALLY fell to my ass when I realized I’d just sent 2 FULL ASS DICK PICS to the mf chat.
FULL ASS DICK PICS to the mf chat. My heart stopped for a second.. I looked up & the other gay guy in the class goes “okkaaaayyy” loud asf. I was in total disbelief. So I sat there panicking trying to figure out a way to delete it, while everyone in the class opened to see
— Marese? (@Marese_CP) August 22, 2018
Well, we all know what to do in a d*ck pic related emergency now. Get it on Twitter. Tell more people about it. Increase your following. Talk about making your online presence grow.
About this big if you were wondering:
That wasn’t all for Marese… the pics were stuck in the group chat for the rest of the semester, he said, because you can’t delete selective messages.
To finish the story off bc it’s too long to finish completely ? my dick pics were stuck in the group chat for the rest of the semester since you can’t delete selective messages & only the creator could delete the entire chat. He was a pussy & wouldn’t. pic.twitter.com/f3pg8qoyDD
— Marese? (@Marese_CP) August 22, 2018
His classmates probably see the funny side of it now the shock has settled down. Still, things could be worse, tt’s hardly sending a message to your gran about your dildo class.
Alexis Caputo, 21, from Arizona, realised she had accidentally sent an especially awkward text to her grandmother.
Although Alexis says they are ‘close’ with Patrice also ‘not shy about any topic’, sex is something they don’t discuss making the message even more embarrassing.
Attending ‘adult classes’ at a local ‘club’, Alexis learns ‘how to do things safely and new skills’ as she delicately puts it.
Receiving a message from a friend asking her if she wants to take a dildo class, Alexis instantly replied back saying ‘hmmmm possibly, I’m not much for penetration’ clicking send without thinking.
Moments later checking her phone, Alexis realised this message had actually gone to her grandmother!
Speaking exclusively to UNILAD, Alexis admitted this will ‘probably be the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to me’.
She added:
I was at work when this happened so I sat at my desk and kind of looked at it in disbelief before ultimately squealing and hiding my face in my keyboard.
I definitely disrupted my co-workers. So I told them what happened and naturally they laughed at me and I did too.
My grandma also didn’t reply for four hours! So I on and off again thought about it and just got embarrassed over and over again.
I mean I panicked because it was embarrassing but luckily I knew my grandmother wouldn’t get angry. The only thing I was worried about is if she was going to bring it up at Christmas dinner. And that overall I was mortified!
Her gran’s reply was brutal:
Don’t trust technology. That’s what I’ve learnt.
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Tim Horner is a sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated with a BA Journalism from University College Falmouth before most his colleagues were born. A previous editor of adult mags, he now enjoys bringing the tone down in the viral news sector.