I used to be a betting man until I got royally fucked over by the bookies. Well, I say fucked over. I mean, I made some horrendous decisions and paid the price (literally) for them.
But what was my issue? Well, that’s simple. I wasn’t betting on the colour of this Aussie’s tie.
Betting giants Sportsbet made the gargantuan mistake of taking bets on the colour of Australian political journalist Laurie Oakes’ tie during an election broadcast, reports the Sydney Morning Herald.
But being the people’s hero Laurie Oakes is, he decided to really shaft Sportsbet by changing his tie throughout the election so that everybody wins. What a legend!
It all began with this first swap:
Hold on, has Laurie Oakes swapped ties? #Conspiracy #AusVotes pic.twitter.com/FEeOFpAXhm
— Sportsbet.com.au (@sportsbetcomau) July 2, 2016
One small step for Oakes, one giant leap for Sportsbet’s finances.
And then this:
A third tie! Damn you Laurie! @Channel9#auspol pic.twitter.com/Nh4uvSjp5H
— Sportsbet.com.au (@sportsbetcomau) July 2, 2016
But he wasn’t done there:
A fourth tie? C'mon man!
Laurie…what are you doing.
Laurie…stahp…#ausvotes pic.twitter.com/lGcf8g5wov— Sportsbet.com.au (@sportsbetcomau) July 2, 2016
Then, the bookies started to panic…
Fifth tie – black
?????#ausvotes pic.twitter.com/10ZVbVLhRx— Sportsbet.com.au (@sportsbetcomau) July 2, 2016
Good news for Australia, bad news for Sportsbet.
But before Oakes had even managed to fully attach his sixth tie, the bookies gave up and agreed to pay out the bets of all the people who had taken a wager on the colour of Laurie’s tie.
A sixth tie for @LaurieOakes…enough!
Stuff this! We're paying out on all tie colours! @Channel9#ausvotes pic.twitter.com/7w24gqdAPH— Sportsbet.com.au (@sportsbetcomau) July 2, 2016
You did it Laurie. You did it.
Laurie later said: ‘I thought, well, why should anyone miss out? So I wore all six colours.’
This guy…
As Twitter user Chamath Alwis said: “The man should be knighted for this.”
Yes he should Chamath. Yes he should.