CENIt would be great if people could pay for items with things other than money. It could make day to day life much more interesting, and perhaps teach us a few things about the real value of material possessions.
One guy who has obviously realised the value of one such possession is Sergey Korshunskiy, from Nizhny Novgorod, Russia.
He’s realised that, instead of feeling a little sad every time you part with your hard-earned cash, you can make the moment a whole lot more enjoyable, and pretty hilarious too.
How does he do that? By using a massive dildo, naturally.
Check it out:
Unfortunately, he doesn’t barter with the ticket collector and exchange his dildo for the tickets, which could be a funnier but much weirder video. Instead, Sergey has rigged the sex toy to be able to use it for contactless transactions.
In the video, the toy can be seen casually being used to pay for not one but two bus tickets. He’s obviously a generous guy, which makes sense considering the size of the thing.
The clip was filmed by Sergey and his friends Anna Voronova and Anton Arkhipov in western Russia’s Nizhny Novgorod Oblast region. And though the pranksters don’t appear in the video, the look on the ticket collector’s face is priceless.
The ticket inspector can be seen using a card machine to accept payment before Sergey suddenly proffers his bright pink dildo to swipe the device.
A slight smile crosses the conductor’s lips as she asks the passenger to try again.
There are just so many jokes here it’s difficult to get them all down. Did he swipe too quickly? Was she not satisfied with his first attempt? Did he not hit the right spot?
I’ve always thought putting the chip of a bank card on the end of a magic wand would be funny, especially as I could yell ’10 points to Gryffindor!’ every time I paid for something, but this type of wand just takes it to another level.
Sergey said:
You can pay up to 1,000 rubles [£11.50] with the dildo and a pin code is not required. I always use it for smaller purchases.
So does he just carry it around in his pocket or what?
Well, if he’s anything like this guy, he carries it around in his suitcase:
Ted Andresson, from New Orleans, pranked his son with this devilish stunt as he was just about to jet off on holiday. Wonder why he wanted to get away?
Ted can be heard laughing his head off as his son stands looking more and more humiliated as the airport worker lifts the object out of his suitcase with a broad smile on her face.
On the other hand, if Ted’s son was tech-savvy like our pal Sergey, he could easily use that sex toy to his advantage.
Perhaps that’s why it’s called an Oyster card down in London.
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Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist and sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.