You’re always hearing horror stories from people who got tattoos that, with hindsight maybe weren’t such a good idea.
As a tattoo artist it must be difficult to put your foot down when what someone wants you to permanently ink onto their body is just not a good idea. Thanks to Reddit, a number of tattoo artists have shared with us the strangest requests and worst experiences they have had in the line of duty and here, for your enjoyment are some of the best…
/u/hellaterry – The worst one that comes to mind is this girl who came in to get her hair cut. We let her know it was a tattoo shop. She said okay so this is how I want my hair can you dye it too. Again, this is a tattoo shop. She said okay can I use the restroom. My coworker said screw it let her use it and get her out of here. So, she uses the bathroom walks out and when I check there’s tons of hair on the ground and she starts acting super crazy knocking stuff over and being irate and my coworker calls the cops. The cops come and thanked us because she escaped a mental institution in Oakland which is five and a half hours away from us.
ShanellNo5 – Best friend is an artist in my hometown. Chick drops $350 for a tattoo, passes out mid-way, and has diarrhoea shits all over the chair and floor while asleep. Friend vomits from the smell. Meanwhile her boyfriend had shot up in the bathroom, wakes up, and ditches her at the shop. Girl wakes up, accuses her of using ink that causes people to shit themselves, demands a refund, throws a painting across the room, and leaves. Then shows back up and asks for a ride.
ChangeisChange – The strangest thing I’ve ever seen in a tattoo parlour was this kid who just turned 18, and he wanted to have his nipples tattooed so instead of being round, his nipples were tattooed too look square. It’s still one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen.
Anon – I had an older (60s) black woman come in once and ask me to tattoo ‘Miss Good Pushin’ in intricate gangster script across her vagina. Not across the top, not around it. ACROSS IT. That conversation took about 45 minutes to explain why that wasn’t going to work. She settled for her lower abdomen instead and I made someone else in the shop tattoo it. She later came in and asked us to tattoo a rainforest parrot on the side of her face. Beak on the forehead, body down the cheek, tail on the chin. A fucking parrot taking up literally 50% of her FACE.
thegraymaninthmiddle – I had a 70-year-old man come in on Valentine’s day, asking for a tattoo of a woman’s name on his chest. He had met the love of his life, he told us, and was going to ask her to marry him the next day. Turned out the love of his life was a stripper working at a club not 10 minutes from us. He came in that next day asking to have it covered up. Ah, love.
I had a girl ask for a photorealistic elephant charging forward above her vagina, with the tusks poking into her. I did not do this tattoo, and I don’t think anyone in our shop did either.
A man once asked for a ring of flames encircling his anus. Someone in our shop actually did this, but charged an exorbitant amount for it.
Also from greymaninthemiddle, this one absolutely killed me. Winner:
I’ve been asked to tattoo Tigger in full viking armour sodomising a decapitated Piglett while Winnie the Pooh eats the blood out of the head like a honey jar.
Brilliant.
