Among the strange, cute or outdated (depending on your outlook) traditions of getting married, are the inevitable stag and hen parties.
Whether it’s a night out with your mates, or a dirty weekend away with friends, family, fathers of the bride, that random cousin everyone feels sorry for and whoever else, there’s never any way of controlling exactly what happens during these events.
It’s fair enough really, one big blowout and get-together with everyone before you (presumably) settle down into married life.
One woman, however, has tried to control the uncontrollable, and set a number of strict rules for her other half to follow as he attends a bachelor party.
The list from the unnamed wife was posted on Reddit‘s r/insanepeoplefacebook thread, so you know it’s top quality content.
She wrote:
So hubby has been invited to a bachelor party, im more than happy for him to go, but we are Christians so i was thinking of writing a list of ruled for all the men to follow. Let me know if ive missed something. [sic]
Judging by the list, I’m not sure she is ‘more than happy’, but here we go:
1. No illegal drugs
2. No cigarettes (hubby quit so I dont want the temptation)
3. No alcohol (hubby doesn’t drink and alcohol leads to bad choices)
4. No strippers/dancers/women at all (a lot of these men are already married)
5. No fast cars / taxis only
6. All phones need to be tracked at all times
7. No swearing
8. Everyone home by midnight
9. No hurting each other (including play wrestling)
10. No gambling
I think the first few are fair enough – if the guy doesn’t drink it should pretty much go without saying he won’t drink… But those last few are really tightening those apron strings, no? Plus she allegedly wants all the guys to adhere to the rules?
The list of demands has, so far, garnered almost 3,000 comments on Reddit.
But here’s the kicker – shortly after posting the list, the women made an edit, writing:
*edit
Okay guys i have taken your feedback and your right, i cant control him once he leaves the house and i cant control his friends so ive decided just to not let him go. [sic]
Mazel tov!
If you have a story you want to tell send it to UNILAD via story@unilad.com
Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist and sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.