Some people say you’re not a man until you’ve received your first Lynx Africa gift set at Christmas.
It’s usually your mum or nan who, after noticing your teenager stink coming on, purchase the gift which famously turns any nerdy virgin into women’s greatest desire.
The adverts have given 16-year-old boys so much hope over the years, that models in bikinis will come running at you, or suddenly you’ll have sex in the middle of Sainsbury’s, or, my favourite, women will be silenced by your scent and only be able to sing bom chicka wah wah at you (I know you just did the voice).
It turns out that 10 million Lynx gift sets were bought last December in the UK. For reference, the population of the UK is about 64 million.
So that means that roughly one in six people on our little island were given a Lynx gift set…we’re so unimaginative!
The thing is, they start when you’re 14, and they just keep on coming…
…Before you know it, you’re 45, living at your mum’s and still stockpiling the gift sets because you’re still using 2001’s Christmas edition of Lynx Black.
People on Twitter are already preempting…
Dear santa, don't get me lynx Africa for christmas still got some left from 2001, thx
— RM (@ryaanmaason) December 7, 2016
It’s quintessential to Christmas!
Lads, if you don't get brought a Lynx Africa set for Christmas then are you even from the UK??? ?
— Jon Baxter (@djjonbaxter) December 17, 2016
Hopefully his nan has Twitter…
Dear santa, don't get me lynx Africa for christmas still got some left from 2001, thx
— RM (@ryaanmaason) December 7, 2016
Memories…
Opening your 8th Lynx gift set on Christmas Day pic.twitter.com/5ePZcqKhb9
— kingscenes13 (@RossKing2) December 7, 2016
There’s always a silver lining…
NYE is always sick. No smelly sweaty guys in da darnce cuz they all got dem lynx set's for Christmas
— J.G Bass (@jgmusiq) December 17, 2016
When we asked Lynx why they’re so damn popular at this time of year, they said:
We sit confidently in the men’s bathroom and Christmas is the best time of the year to stock up bathroom shelves with our wide variety of gift sets and products.
You pretend to not like the smell anymore,
But we know that you still sneak a spray,
And that you said that it was Hugo Boss,
When that girl sniffed you the other day.
Don’t be ashamed, wear your Lynx Africa with pride this Christmas.